The Hard Truth~
Let me back up just a bit.
To sum up my childhood I had a fantastic life. I had parents that fought to stay together and a sister that always wanted to put me back where I came from. Typical right? We grew up on a lake in southern MN and did what all kids did back then. We played outside and we were never home. My Dad worked days and my Mom was a nurse and worked the pm shift. I met a boy when my sister was working at a local restaurant and thought he was cute. He became my boyfriend at 15. I was never talked to about sex, precautions, and pregnancy… that as you know, would be apparent soon enough. We stayed together for a total of 10 years off and on, (I'll explain that part of my story later.) There was a lot of family time growing up. There was love, commitment, and hard work, which would help shape me as I grew older. It wasn't until later in life, however; I would realize there was in fact, toxicity throughout my childhood. Some of that toxicity played a part in many of the poor decisions I had made and some of those decisions were a result of a trauma response from having such a sick daughter. (I'll explain that later too.)
Ok so here we were. Our family of 4; Mom, Dad, sister, and me. All of our lives were about to change (though my sister was away at college). After finding out there was an abnormality with my ultrasound, I was scheduled for a level 2 at Abbott in Minneapolis, MN. Lets be real, back then, our little ole' town didn't have THAT kind of technology.
It was at this next appointment, that I would meet the man who's life my daughters hands would be in.
The man who over the next 25 years would have a huge impact on our family. This man was Dr. Singh. He was a cardiologist at Minneapolis Children's Hospital and he was the absolute best. When I met him, I was oblivious. I didn't realize just how sick this child would be and trying to understand such big words like atrial septal defect were impossible. Amarjit (Dr. Singh) was from India and had an Indian accent. I couldn't understand a word he was saying. Maybe it was because of his accent, or maybe it was because I was young and wasn't listening? Either way it was a challenging, tough day.
After all of the tests, we knew this baby would have a heart defect, we just wouldn't learn the depths of it until she was born. The remainder of my pregnancy was as normal as 'normal' could be. I didn't gain much weight, but it was apparent I was having a baby.
I remember it vividly.
It was a Tuesday in April.
I had gone to school that morning just like any other… but that night, would be different.
My baby girl was born on that Tuesday April 3, 1990.
At that time, as I told you, I lived in a small town with a hospital that didn't have the resources needed to take care of such a sick baby. I was scheduled to have her at Abbott Northwestern Hospital in Minneapolis, MN. They were well equipped and had an underground tunnel that led right to the Children's hospital. Of course, that didn't go as planned.
Ash was born at our local hospital, so the Minneapolis Children's Hospital transport team came to Faribault, MN to bring her to Children's Hospital.
My daughter was born with a severe congenital heart defect that would require open heart surgery at just 2 weeks old. She was blue, she weighed 5lbs 12 ounces, and her heart was four fifths the size of her chest. She wasn't premature, but she was born 2.5 weeks early. Ashely would be fighting for her existence for months and years to come… we at that time, just didn't know it yet.
