Only Two Weeks…

Two weeks.

That's how long we would be in the hospital after Ashley's 2nd surgery. Everything went beautifully and she was to remain still, relaxed, and not be up and about for a couple of weeks. We were fine with that; we were just relieved and ecstatic. Ecstatic that things went so good without any hiccups.

This time anyway.

Ashley's shunt replacement surgery was a success and soon she would be on the mend and on her way home. Before that could happen however, she would need to endure two weeks of being in the hospital which meant long days in the PICU. Her wounds would heal quickly and soon, she would be on her way home.

As I mentioned for much of my life from my late teens to my early twenties, and even well into my thirties, I learned things the hard way. I was young and knew everything (or so I thought), and no one…

I mean no one…

was going to tell me what to do, or tell me any different.

When Ashley got home after her closed heart surgery that February, that was about the same time a woman from social services named Ruth showed up at our door. She was there to be a mentor and to be there for whatever I may have needed. I, however, remember feeling threatened. I felt like Ruth was there to watch me be a mother and try and control me and tell me what to do. I was not accepting of her help, and I was very standoffish.

That was far from why she was there and what her intentions were.

I was defensive and out of touch with what I should have been doing as a mother. That was a big reason why Ruth was there. I was a minor that had a baby, and I needed all the help I could get. I just couldn't see past what I thought to be true when in reality she was there for me, not against me.

It took me many, many years to realize, understand, and appreciate just what Ruth did do for our family. She became a staple in our lives and would continue to be a part of it even up until today.

Ruth would become a very important piece to my ever-crazy changing puzzle of life.

In fact, the next few months would be when I started to realize just how much I needed her. The absolute unexpected would soon happen and this too would shock our family. It would make me question my being, my choices, and my worth.

How could this happen again?

What do I do now?

I found myself asking so many questions only this time it wasn't a Dr. or nurse that was going to help me answer them this time, I would need to look to my mom and Ruth for help and answers.